Thursday, September 11, 2008

A birthday poem.

My birthday was on Tuesday.  I'm officially oldish- the big 2-4.

My brothers, being writers, always put lots of effort into getting the 'perfect birthday card'- it has to fit the moment and day, and have the perfect amount of funniness and cleverness.   If you've had to buy a birthday card recently, you probably have noted that there just aren't that many good cards out there right now.  They're all too sappy, or just plain cheesy. So Chason, my older brother, decided to just buy a blank card with a Yorkie on the front, and write his own version of a birthday card.  (So you know, Sherbotzky is my little sisters new Yorkie.)   Here it is:

The Tale of Mrs. Tantweenie

Oh, it was a very sad day; truly a debacle
When Mrs. Tantweenie, wearing her blue beanie, pressed down on the throttle.
While putting on her face, she failed to see
Standing in the street was Sherbotzky- the Yorkie.

Sherbotzky was small, a present in her paw
A little pink and blue bow under her jaw.
True, she did piddle, but only a little
As Mrs. Tantweenie's Buick drove down the middle

Of the road.  And despite the fright, Mrs. Tantweenit checked her sight
Saw Sherbotzky and pulled the wheel to the right.
The Buick skidded, shreaked, and drove off the street
With little Sherbotzky cowering underneath.
And Mrs. Tantweenit, wearing her blue beanie,
Smashed through the fence belonging to Mr. Goldenie.

"Sherbotzky, you could've been killed!" Mrs. Tantweenie shrilled.
"The street could've been covered in Yorkie blood that you spilled!
In the name of Pete, what were you doing in the street?
Stupid little dog, you could've been trampled under feet!"

Sherbotzky retorted- as it was reported:
"Mrs. Tantweenie, you meany! And what an ugly blue beanie!
I was going to Annie's party with this pickled zucchini!
It's her favorite, you know, how her face does glow
As all her good neighbors and friends do know."

"Oh you little snot, I hope your Zucchini rots!
And then you'll feel bad for the dumb thing you bought."
Mrs. Tantweenie sputtered with a grin
And opened the car door and started to get in.

And Sherbotzky seized the moment
Not caring that she'd done it
And hurled the Zucchinis at Mrs. Tantweenie
Which bounced off her nose and knocked off her blue beanie.

And off to the party with little Sherbotzky
At least, that's how the story is told.
To celebrate Annie's birthday-
But not to say Annie's old.

HA.   And I'm not really old, and I don't like pickled zucchini. Please don't ever give it as a gift. At least not to me.

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