Thursday, January 7, 2010

Les Pensées, II.

Obviously, today is a thinking day, since it's my second blog in less than 24 hours.

Maybe Thursday will become "Thursday's Pensées" (said: pawn-say) day. I love a good rhyme. Although I do have thoughts on more days than just Thursdays.

So settle into your easy chair, grab a cup of thé au lait, maybe even grab a blanket, and prepare yourself for "Spiritual Matters with Annie." Because I'm so spiritual.

Today's topic is: Forgiveness.

Now, do let me go ahead and tell you that while the first part of this post is rather facetious, the rest of it will be sort of a walk in the dark, since, while I'm still ever so spiritual, I don't really even know what I'm talking about. So let's see what comes next.

Last Sunday, my parent's preacher presented the entirety of I Peter from memory as the message, which was amazing. But the notes I took from that speech confirmed to me that, yes, God is trying to teach me about forgiveness.


This is a hard one for me. Oh, not the simple forgiveness, I'm fine with that... mostly... o.k., so it's all hard. But it's much easier to forgive someone for calling you a dorkwad, than it is for forgiving someone who's hurt you. And that's where I am.

And then I watched "Madea goes to Jail," and there it was again. She's in jail, telling all the gals in there to get over what people did to them, because those people are out living their lives, and the gals are giving them power over their lives if they hold on to what's been done to them. And really, how true is that? If you're holding on to what someone's done to you, they have power over your life.

Yes, I've been holding on to what a few people have done to me. It's easy to do. And I'd admit it right off, if you asked me. I'm angry. I'm hurt. And if I saw 'em in the store, I'd either walk away from them fast to avoid any interaction, or be forced to punch them in the kidneys.

But what should I do now?!

Forgive them.

But I don't want to. Forget that 70x7 junk. They weren't nice people then, and they aren't nice people now. Why should I forgive them, when THEY should be asking ME for forgiveness?!

Because, let's face it, people: Life doesn't work like that; and if we believe in Jesus, He doesn't always give us the easy way out. He sure didn't take it. He was murdered in front of thousands of people, falsely accused, hated, beaten, naked. And all that to save me, a person who can't even forgive a few people that I don't see anymore. Isn't it sad how easily I forget that?

So here I am. A Christian girl, showing you my struggle with forgiving other people, just in case you have that struggle, too. We're in this together. It's not easy, and demands much from us, which our prideful hearts don't like.

Oh, deceptive little heart. I think you'll be happier once you're loosed from holding onto pain.

Let's let it all go, friends. Jesus forgets our sins as soon as we ask Him to. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt Him before we asked. And it doesn't mean that people won't hurt us still. But it does mean that we can be free from the heavy anchor that weighs our souls down when we hold on. Who wants to be drowned by a heavy anchor, anyways?!

It's a beautiful world out there. Let's be free and go chase it.

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