Work it.

Ok.

There are moments in life that

make a musician need/want to go and practice.

I'm about to give you many:

Her. My left hand can't even dream of going that fast..

Her. She's 7. 'Nough Said.

Her. I'm singing this aria now. This is a flawless performance... she's just amazing.

Him. I saw him last night live! AMAZING!

Her. I'm also singing this right now.

And so you know where I'm going now?

That's right, I'm going to practice.

oh la la, les aventures...

Saturday, 4:30 p.m.

The fire alarm goes off.

My hair is freshly dripping from my shower,

and I'm just about to turn the oven on

to cook dinner to take to a dinner-get-together at 5.

Wondering if it's just another drill,

I grab my cell phone,

lappy (laptop),

and purse from off the kitchen table,

slide on my croc-wanna-be's

(the most beautiful shoes in the world),

and exit the apartment.

Everyone is outside on the sidewalk,

many people from my school,

my friends,

all the hunky doctors from Hopkins ;)

and there I am.

Hair dripping, not a lick of make-up,

gorgeous, and freezing.

So my 2 "Balmer besties" and I

wait it out in Donna's with chai lattes.

After we see everyone going back inside,

we walk past a fireman and I say,

rather dramatically:

"Thank you for rescuing our apartment!"

"Well, I don't know about that..." he replies.

Well how's that for off-putting?

So I go down the hall and notice that my door's open-

not a big deal since the firemen are supposed

to check all the apt.s before they clear the place.

But what is that water sound?

Did I leave the sink running and it's over flowing?

And why is it so dark?

And then I see it.

The light fixture (rather large, too)

has fallen and broken all over the floor,

and the 3 holes in the ceiling are pouring water.

There's a small pond forming on the kitchen vinyl,

and the carpet is already sopping.

I think my brain switches into Auto-clean-up mode,

so I run into the common room and

leave my lappy and things with my besties

who are watching a football game now.

Telling them that it's flooding, they,

like the good friends they are,

come help me move all my furniture away from the mess.

At this point, I'm realizing how 'lucky' I am

to have grabbed my electronics from off the table,

because it's been sufficiently sloshed.

And man, does it now stink like attic gunk!

So I open the windows,

call my dinner date (since I'm now 15 minutes late),

and go ahead and leave...

there's nothing more I can do,

we just have to let it finish dripping out..

When I come home, it's just a mess,

so I get help moving my furniture into my bedroom,

and as far away from the soggy carpet as is possible.

Then I pack a bag, and sleep over at another friend's apt.,

since she's been so kind as to put me,

and my friend (who's 3rd floor room has

lost most of it's ceiling at this point,)

up for the night.

By Sunday,

there are 3 mega fans blowing the walls,

and a giant de-humidifier

sucking out all the humidity, SO loud...

It's a long day of church,

discipleship class,

dinner and tv with my besties,

and I try to get some sleep in my own room.

Try, being the key word there..

Monday is quite a long day as well;

classes and voice lesson and homework,

and again trying to sleep in my room,

humidifier on high,

to counter the beast in the living room..

So yesterday finally comes,

and I'm exhausted.

I've reached the point of

"don't mess with me,

don't joke with me,

don't tell me that I look tired,

don't tell me that you're out of coffee,

don't roll your eyes at me when

I ask for a pen to sign a receipt,

don't gip me a dollar when giving me change

after you've rolled your eyes at me,

and definitely don't tell me

that I will have 2-3 more days of fans in my appy."

And finally at my breaking point,

I have a night of at least 10 hours of solid sleep.

So today has been a good day, and I've been laughing at all the things that went wrong within the last 4 days..

I guess when it rains, it pours...

oh la la

What I saw when I first walked in: (it got much worse)

Notice the water bubble in the ceiling..

My mess of a living room:

My video update, as of today:

(Please don't notice the bad hair,

the lack of make-up,

the fact that I really oughta go work out,

or the mess of a bedroom...)

Ideals and Dreams.

Sometimes, I just shake my head at myself because I can be so wishy-washy. My family jokes all the time about how when I was little, I'd say "well, I DID do that, but I DIDN'T to that.. but I DID do that." And I STILL do that today. All the time.

Which brings me to:

My Ideals and Dreams.

I have grown up with certain dreams and ideas about things. Some of them were influenced by my parents, some by my friends, some by Jane Austen, and some by just me.

I confess that I have a bit of a stubborn streak, and so it's really been no problem for me to grow up saying: "This is how I want/need it to be, so God, make it that way, and I'll wait till it is." And honestly, that's how my life works much of the time. And I'm happy with that.

Mostly.

This move has put me in a very isolated, completely lonely place from anyone who shares what I believe in the most. And so I think that I'm finally in that place in my life where it's really and truly just me and Him. That's it. And sometimes it feels like it's just me.

It's interesting to look at myself as just me. Who I am, how I work, what I do, why I do it. And I realize that I have fear, here. It's very uncomfortable to stick out. Always before, I didn't mind sticking out a little bit, but here, my heart beliefs stick out like an oak in a petunia garden. My fear is an odd revelation, one I'm still trying to understand fully.... I was recently reading the story of Nehemiah, and it's so inspiring. Don't you want to live that way? Bold and full of courage? Doesn't your heart soar when you read stories of epic heroes and honor and truth and beauty? I do want to live that way. I should want to stick out, and I shouldn't mind it so much because, like I said before, I did ask for it. That gives me hope and renews my inspiration while I learn to battle my insecurities and less-than-perfect self.

I do have a sort of pride in God, and what He's done, and what we're doing together. Part of me is even daring enough to think: "Oh yeah? You think I'm weird? Well, just sit back and watch, 'cause it's gonna be amazing."

My life is going to be great. I have no idea what it's going to be after I'm done schooling here, but I just know that it's going to be great. If I'm selling worms in a bait shop and singin' pirate songs to the fishermen, it will be great. If I'm on the MET stage, it will be great. If I'm not married when I'm 40 (which I hope is not the case, but still) it will be great. I know it will be, even when I'm stressed and frightened and just need a hug; I don't always feel it, but I still know it.

So here I am:

I have fear.

I do, but I don't, but I do.

I'm insecure.

I am, but I'm not, but I am.

I'm lonely.

I am, but I'm not, but I am.

I'm loved.

I am, and I am, and I am.

"You make everything Glorious, and I am Yours. So what does that make Me?"

GROSS!

So I have a big mid-term tomorrow

and decided to go to bed early.

(11 p.m. is now early to me)

I dangled my hand off the bed and thought:

"Oh, did I bring in a flower

and leave it on the floor?"

And then it moved.

I was petting a roach.

EW!

SICK OUT!

TOTALLY NASTY!

And on top of that,

there was NO bug boy here

to take care of it for me!

So I had to do the deed myself.

I whacked it good, but it was still moving...

and I know I looked ridiculous

trying to slide it onto my dustpan

in order to flush it.

I saluted it on the way down to it's

watery grave.

Blech.

So now I can't sleep.

Imagine that.

(It could have crawled on my in my sleep!!)

...

So I guess I'll update you on my recent goings-on.

My Px5 is still going strong.

Like I mentioned before,

I've had p l e n t y

of tests to prepare for

that have kept me plenty busy.

Still, I've managed to get some good,

quality time with friends,

and also a little work done in my appy.

On Saturday,

I awoke to this sight.

A tarp over my window with red tape saying:

CAUTION LEAD HAZARD

Needless to say, I checked with the

landlord to make sure I wasn't dying without

my knowledge.

I'm not.

They were just repainting.

I have been getting a little more done

in my appy,

like a little more painting on my wall design,

and hanging pictures!

PLUS, I had my first real dinner party!

It was fun!

I love having people over

:)

I even got some flowers at the store.

They're so cheery.

They make my day so much happier.

Okay, well, I guess I'd better TRY and get some sleep.

God, PLEASE don't let bugs crawl on me in my sleep!

Amen.

And Amen.

Px5, Days 1-3

Ok. So this whole "Px5," as I'm calling it (see previous entry), is as difficult as I thought it might be. I have tried to use every minute doing something really meaningful, instead of poking around, wasting time online, or sitting with friends not doing anything... Of course, some sitting around not doing anything is wonderful, but I'm focusing on filling up every spare thought and seeing how much I'll get done in the 40 day allotment of time.

Here's what I've managed to get done these past 3 days:

Friday: I made my "Activity Wall!" Ah, organization...

During: What a mess!

After: All neat and ready to keep my life organized.

I painted the girl singing, and I also painted the bulletin board, the picture frames, and the light switch case; I also made little tags to keep my odds and ends neat :)

I'm in the process of framing this other painting of mine:

(It's an opera house, in case you can't tell...)

I had to work Friday night (Security Patrol), so I had 5 hours to get studying done for an upcoming class presentation I'll be giving on some of Gorecki's music (great composer by the way). My friend, Michael, is helping the opera dept. with props for the "Opera Potpourri" program tomorrow night, so I offered to help him make 'old-fashioned' paper, by dunking a sheet of paper in tea, so I did that once I got home! Pretty productive day, I'll say!

Saturday:

I slept in, which is DEFINITELY on my list of productive things to do. Gotta keep my body healthy in all this cold weather, you know...

Once I dragged myself away from sweet slumber, I volunteered at the gorgeous church across the street, helping to set up for their Halloween Night Party. While I'm a little torn by endorsing skeletons, bloody hands and masks, and ghoulie things, it's just a something I could do to help out.

THEN I went home. Fortunately, I have mid terms all this week and next, to I have p l e n t y of homework and studying to keep my extra moments quite busy. Here are some examples:

In my Operas of Mozart class, we have a test over "Le Nozze di Figaro" (The Marriage of Figaro), where we have to know every song, Title, who's singing it, and what it's about, memorized for our Tuesday exam.

Also on Tuesday, at bright and shining 8 am, I have my Theory Mid-Term. This, out of everything, I'm least bothered about, but still going to study for it:

ALSO on Tuesday, I have a pre-Mid-Term Music History test, so I'm madly trying to commit to memory all the below tabbed songs, along with all the other facts about music from Antiquity through Baroque.... wish me luck...

Tomorrow, in my Contemporary Vocal Literature class, the professor gave out pieces for us to look at, not really for perfection, but to try. Most definitely outside of my singing comfort zone, but I'll try anything at least once. So let me explain it:

First, I have to look at the top of the page, where each measure is given an emotional direction.

Then I look at each measure, and try an put the emotion with each. Notice that the emotion will change with the bar line, and therefore in the middle of a word.

And finally, the bottom of the page is the written instructions from the composer on how he meant for the song to be performed. All in French. Fortunately, I speak french, so I only had to look up a few words. I'm proud of me.

And here's how it looks, all together! Wild, huh?! Definitely not Mozart.

And lastly, last night, my church had a "Progressive Dinner," where each course is served at a different person's house. I took a friend and we met all my church friends and enjoyed traipsing around the Mount Vernon area, eating good food, and having some nice conversation. It was nice, because I met so many new people last night, that it was easy to get re-acquainted this morning at church!

All in all, a very nice 3 days. And really, I'm lucky for the next week because I have so much studying to do, that filling my time shouldn't be too difficult! But I'll let you know how that goes ;)

One thing I WILL be doing, is buying groceries, because this is just plain sad:

Un bel automne, mes amies!

Today's Font: Krungthep

Peer Pressure and Persistence Purpose Project

So it seems to me that everyone

(including the gal from Julie and Julia)

is doing project countdowns

for their blogs or just in general.

Well, I have some more time on my hands

than I planned to have this semester,

so there's only one thing to do.

I'm giving in.

I'm doing a Countdown, too.

For the next 40 days,

I am going to try and fill each minute of my time

with purpose.

I started a To-Do List yesterday

and it's already longer than my face.

And I have somewhat-small handwriting.

Some of my projects are:

~Finishing my painting

~Making my life-organizer wall

~Giving myself a mani/pedi

~Studying hard for my upcoming exams/tests/projects

~ Spending quality time with friends

~Making my bathroom squeaky clean

~Organizing my jewelry

~Grocery shopping so I won't starve after the Ramen is gone

~Taking more pictures

~Writing more letters

~Reading through my book stack.

~ Practicing 6 days/wk for at least 1.5 hrs/day

~Planning/setting my recital

~Making my audition CD

~Preparing my Pre-Thanksgiving party.

~Making a budget!

Things of that nature.

So.

It all begins tomorrow,

and I will keep you updated

as to how it's going.

Feel free to ask me,

just to keep me on my toes.

P.S. I'm also going to only write

using fonts with weird names.

"Is for fun."

Today's Font: BiauKai

:)

Tally-ho!